| The person who first coined the phrase "flying the | | | | Toddler Air Travel Tips #2: Do not let your |
| friendly skies" was obviously not traveling with | | | | toddler out of his seat when the fasten seat belt |
| young children. If at some point in the future you | | | | lights turns off. |
| will be finding yourself on a cramped airplane with | | | | I don't have to tell you that toddlers have a |
| a rambunctious toddler (or two), first of all let me | | | | difficult time sitting still for two minutes, let alone |
| offer my condolences. As the mother of two | | | | two hours. Their little legs were built for running, |
| boys and a veteran of the so-called friendly skies, | | | | kicking and jumping. |
| I have been in your shoes more than once. | | | | With that in mind, prepare yourself for the fact |
| Yes, I know - you don't need my sympathy, or | | | | that your toddler is going to whine, and squirm, |
| my empathy, or my condolences. You need help! | | | | and complain, and squirm some more. However, |
| So, for what it is worth, here are my words of | | | | no matter how much he squirms and complains, |
| experience (errr, I mean wisdom) on how to | | | | do not unfasten his seat belt. If you do, be |
| survive your next trip: | | | | prepared to regret your decision. Why? Well, |
| Toddler Air Travel Tips #1: Do not use the white | | | | freed from the constraints of the seat belt, he will |
| paper bag in the seat pocket in front of you as a | | | | wrestle past you into the aisle, and then his inner |
| paper airplane! | | | | instinct to run will take over. You can only imagine |
| It does not matter that you spent a small fortune | | | | the rest of the fiasco that will take place. |
| loading your Vera Bradley carry-on luggage with | | | | My advice - do not unbuckle your child's seat belt |
| goodies aimed at keeping your two-year old | | | | for any reason. Better yet, bring his car seat with |
| entertained for hours. There is an unwritten rule | | | | you on the plane, and strap him in good! |
| that dictates that your toddler will get bored | | | | Toddler Air Travel Tips #3: Never make eye |
| within the first fifteen minutes of departure. | | | | contact with the other adult passengers. |
| That white paper bag in the seat pocket in front | | | | Unfortunately, the majority of your |
| of you will begin to beckon to you, with the | | | | co-passengers will not be sympathetic to your |
| promise that if you transform it into a paper | | | | situation. There is something about flying, perhaps |
| airplane or an origami sculpture, that the tiny | | | | it's the cramped conditions, the high altitude, or |
| passenger sitting beside you will be well-behaved | | | | the recycled air, that makes them forget that |
| for the next two hours of your trip. | | | | they were once children, or had children, or that |
| Stop - don't do it! Trust me, as soon as you | | | | the world would end if it were not for children. To |
| dismantle the bag, your toddler will upchuck | | | | them, you are the enemy. |
| everything he ate for breakfast. And guess | | | | My advice - you should avoid making eye contact |
| where that spew of regurgitated food bits will be | | | | with the other adult passengers on the plane. |
| directed. Yes, that's right - you will be the unwilling | | | | Spare yourself the stares and glares, because |
| recipient! Your pants, your shoes, yes, even your | | | | what you do not know will not hurt you. You |
| brand new Vera Bradley luggage, will be covered | | | | have enough on your plate, without adding a big |
| in the once-digested remains of his breakfast. | | | | side helping of guilt. |
| My advice - as soon as you board the plane, | | | | Finally, keep your expectations realistic. You will |
| locate the paper bag and place it where you can | | | | survive this journey. Perhaps, you will even have |
| grab it within a moment's notice. And do not | | | | your own travel tips and words of wisdom to |
| touch it again, unless you need it for its intended | | | | impart when it's over! |
| use. | | | | |