| If your child is being bullied, you must step | | | | sooner or later! But if one of your children |
| in, and step in now. If you don't complain to | | | | is a bully, don't let him or her get away |
| the school, for example, they will ignore the | | | | with it. You are doing them no favors and, as |
| problem, even when a teacher or other staff | | | | they mature, they will become a danger to |
| member is the bully. And too often they are. | | | | you, as well as to their siblings and others |
| I had an experienced high school teacher we | | | | they meet. |
| were all terrified of, especially a classmate | | | | |
| who had problems with his kidneys and urinary | | | | In 1982 I wrote an article for the Canadian |
| tract. The day finally came when the teacher | | | | magazine, Annals of St. Anne de Beaupré, |
| refused to allow the boy to leave one more | | | | in which I mentioned, along with other |
| time to go to the restroom during class, and | | | | subjects, that we should be careful how much |
| the urine went all over the floor. Do you | | | | we interfere in our children's lives, so that |
| think that child wasn't scarred for life? Do | | | | we don't lead them to expect that someone |
| you think we didn't all hate that teacher's | | | | will always be there to rescue them. I still |
| guts? It could have been any of us who were | | | | believe that. However, times continue to |
| embarrassed like that, but no disciplinary | | | | change and bullying has increased, along with |
| action against the teacher was ever taken. | | | | the world's deteriorating moral values. Even |
| | | | if your stepping in consists only of teaching |
| If you don't complain to church officials, | | | | your child how to defend herself, and how to |
| when that's where the abuse is taking place, | | | | avoid nasty confrontations, you must act. |
| your child may suffer irreparable damage. | | | | This is a time-honored parental |
| There is no stronger emotion than that of | | | | responsibility. If your intervention is that |
| betrayal when spiritual trust has been | | | | of taking the topic to school administrators, |
| destroyed. If officials do nothing, take | | | | then that should be done at the first signs |
| whatever legal steps you have to take, to | | | | of trouble. Don't wait until your child is |
| make them pay attention to you. You may need | | | | physically hurt or emotionally devastated. |
| to move from the neighborhood while the case | | | | |
| is making its way through the courts, but | | | | In spite of what licensed child psychologists |
| deal with it, Mom! Deal with it, Dad! You are | | | | or pastors may tell you, sooner or later you |
| the parents of your child; your church is | | | | will have to teach your children how to fight |
| not. | | | | back, not just turn the other cheek, or run |
| | | | away. Someone will come along who is stronger |
| Sometimes, children are bullied outside of | | | | or faster than they are, so teach them to |
| school or church facilities but on the way to | | | | kick and scratch and scream, whatever it |
| and from the buildings. It is still the | | | | takes to get away from a bully or kidnapper. |
| school's or church's moral, if not legal, | | | | You will need to channel any "passing phase" |
| responsibility to do something about the | | | | obnoxious childhood tantrums into proper |
| offending child or children. The parents of | | | | expressions of indignation and outrage, when |
| the bully need to be called in and warned | | | | something inappropriate is being done to |
| that their child is jeopardizing his own and | | | | them, such as touching their private parts, |
| their own future security. A suggestion that | | | | or unwanted tickling. Children need to be |
| counseling may be in order will probably be | | | | taught to respect authority, but not at the |
| rejected, but it should be made. | | | | expense of their own safety, their own |
| | | | innocence, or their dignity. |
| At times it is obvious that the bullying | | | | |
| child is being bullied at home, and a | | | | If children reach adulthood before they run |
| watchful eye should be kept for signs of | | | | into a bully, perhaps an abusive employer, a |
| abuse to her. Yes, bullies have been, and | | | | conniving co-worker, or other empire builder, |
| still often are girls, though the majority | | | | it will require verbal skills to stand up for |
| are boys. Children repeat what they learn. | | | | themselves instead of punching out the guy or |
| When a 3-year-old in my Sunday School class | | | | gal. Those skills are best taught at a young |
| takes off his leather belt and begins hitting | | | | age, also, although they can be acquired the |
| another child with the buckle end of it, you | | | | hard way. And while you're at it, teach them |
| can bet I take the belt out of his hand. I | | | | to keep their crap detectors turned on 24 |
| return it to the highly embarrassed mother | | | | hours a day. There's plenty of that flying |
| when she comes to pick him up. | | | | around. |
| | | | |
| Don't beat your own children. It's wrong and | | | | Bullies are not just another challenge. |
| the entire world will find out about it | | | | They're a major life threat. |