| A mother talks to her son about his dirty | | | | and those beliefs are not necessarily based |
| dishes in the sink. A dad punishes his | | | | on true information. Adults find themselves |
| daughter for talking back and not being | | | | acting badly to parenting problems in ways |
| respectful. A step-mother holds her tongue as | | | | they never thought they would, and they are |
| her step-daughter swears at her. A step | | | | often not aware of what is really running |
| father explains to his wife how she should | | | | them underneath their actions. |
| punish her son for not calling when he was | | | | |
| out past curfew. Why would these parents in | | | | ACTION STEP |
| these various situations behave the way they | | | | |
| do to their birth children and stepchildren? | | | | Work towards identifying your childhood |
| How do people learn how to parent their | | | | conclusions about parenting by allotting some |
| children, let alone someone else�s | | | | unbroken, private time together as a pair. |
| children? In all cases, behavior is a direct | | | | Or, if you don�t have a partner or |
| result of a person�s beliefs. | | | | spouse at this time, choose to do this with |
| | | | another single parent to get some mutual |
| And yet not very many parents know where | | | | support and benefit. Determine who will start |
| their beliefs about parenting come from. For | | | | sharing and who will put forward the |
| most parents, the way they parent is a direct | | | | questions. Be ready to alternate roles |
| result of how they were parented. The | | | | half-way through so that each of you gets the |
| majority of beliefs about parenting are | | | | same length of time to share. |
| really formed starting at infancy and get | | | | |
| solidified by early childhood. These beliefs | | | | Inquire about each other's childhood. |
| are so ingrained, and so much a part of a | | | | Determine who the central parental figures |
| person�s make-up, that they are | | | | were for each of you. Learn about how each of |
| largely unconscious and not very easily | | | | you was parented and what was effective in |
| accessed. | | | | your life and what you wished had been |
| | | | different. Dig for the possible conclusions |
| By knowing what your beliefs are about | | | | you made about parenting as a result of how |
| parenting and where those beliefs come from, | | | | you were raised. Be absorbed and responsive |
| you get to discover that your thoughts are | | | | in what your partner has to say. |
| accurate or not. Kids have a different way of | | | | |
| thinking and often make meanings about the | | | | NOTE: Use of this article requires links to |
| world that relate to their way of thinking, | | | | be intact. |